the kings win the stanley cup, and I learn why I can't be a hockey fan

Last night I made sure to tune into game six of this year's Stanley Cup finals, as the Kings—seminally horrible and rarely poised for a winning season—looked to take the Cup at home against the marginally-good New Jersey Devils. I've been watching way too much basketball lately to not look for a storyline here. For me, it was the underdog, nerdy Kings (represented by Wil Wheaton) against the slick, East coast cool-guy Devils (represented by Kevin Smith). Which is clearly inaccurate.

But what I learned about myself last night is that I'm not cut out for watching hockey. It is quite possibly the most stressful sport for any fan to watch. The pacing is frantic, the action non-stop, the puck so tiny on the screen that you just look for where people are being smashed into the glass to figure out where it is. One player can have a bad night and end the whole season for the whole sport. The pressure is tangible, the atmosphere electric, the goals exhilarating. I couldn't take it. Watching a Stanley Cup game is like watching the last two minutes of a basketball game for 60 minutes. My hair was standing on end the entire time. Even looking back at pictures of the game gives me that weird tingling sensation.

Those three power play goals in five minutes in the first period really wrapped things up early, but the rest of the game managed to still be nerve-wracking. And I don't even like hockey that much. The last game I watched with any clear intent was when Hossa got slammed in the first round. And before that, the game that secured the cup for my Blackhawks.

From what I heard, ratings were down in the playoffs because the big name teams got knocked out early. I think in any other sport that would actually drum up more ratings (except maybe baseball, but that's a whole other can of worms). But the NHL seems to treat their games like they have some wonderful secret they're keeping from the world. They don't play up the games or star players; they leave that to the teams, and to the networks that just this year are showing all of the playoff games (what?!). Which means that only local markets get a sense of what's at stake. But if the NHL wants to drum up more interest in their sport in America, the league itself needs to step up and paint the picture for the entire country. The reason we all know about LeBron James is because the NBA spends more time in their advertising on him than anyone else (citation needed). And they make sure you know who he is. And that's why the nation is held captive by the NBA playoffs. And LeBron's story.

Or not. I was reminded just a minute ago about this:

Not even LA's own networks know what the hell that hockey thing is about.

Maybe it's for America's better health to not have hockey be a staple. I'm not sure we could handle the stress. But it would be nice if the NHL tried harder to keep the country up-to-date on, you know, stuff that happens in the league. Local market advertising can only do so much. And if I don't know who's involved and what's at stake, chances are I'm not going to watch. I'm positive I'm not the only person that feels that way.

Congrats to the Kings on their first Stanley Cup win. Don't drop it! It looks heavy...

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