a coloring book I'd never buy the kid I'm not having

The last few days have been a combination of me working at Hill Country Weavers and working on my bibliography for my dissertation prospectus. While searching for "science fiction television" as a subject heading I found a few great additions to my bibliography, as well as this:



Here is the book detail:

A child’s life is full of both joys and challenges—the infinite wonder of learning, the literal and figurative scraped knees of everyday life, and, of course, deep, penetrating theological terror. That’s why Pastor Brett of the Mega-Pheasant Heights Assembly Church has created an activity book that will divert those long lazy hours of idle youth into a soul-saving good time. Inside are crafty puzzles, mazes of wrath, and connect-the-dots! Also, the mysteries of God’s creation are revealed and explored, including, but not limited to: why God sometimes does not answer your prayers; why heterosexual monogamy is demanded of us; and why listening to scientists will end with your corporeal destruction and eternal damnation. You will learn the nature of other “religions” as well as how best to crush them. And then there will be juice boxes. While tradition states that the path to heaven is paved by knowledge of scripture, the doing of good works, and the conversion of heathens, it has recently been revealed that no one can obtain their eternal reward without first obtaining a copy of The Intelligent Design Coloring Book!

(emphasis added by me)

The cover, luckily, says "100% Fact Free." And as soon as you open it up and flip through the pages you realize that it's an expert parody into the origins of fundamental religious intolerance, human ignorance, and the formation of ideologies and philosophies that breed distrust and hatred in the US. The sad thing is some people will pick this up and go "totally!" But the part about the couple on the beach has to be the best thing I've ever seen.

"Carrie is doing the Intelligent Designer's work. Using her breasts, she attempts to distract Matt from looking at Michael."
"Breasts can be used for good or evil. When they are used to foil homosexual activity it pleases the Intelligent Designer."

Granted, for me, this is the kind of sarcastic junk that perpetuates stereotypes and fuels the fire of fundamental conservative christians. Which for me is just as infuriating. But I guess the best place to turn to make these horrible things more tolerable is comedy...